


Jealous

by littlemissdarci



Category: Free!
Genre: Jealous Matsuoka Rin, M/M, Makoto is the ultimate bro, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:34:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissdarci/pseuds/littlemissdarci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin thinks Sousuke doesn't love him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

Rin mustn’t have seen correctly.

 

 

His eyes were just deceiving him.

 

 

Maybe he could blame it on the 16 hours of non-stop travel. Yeah, that must be it. He’s just hallucinating from not sleeping. Or maybe he’s delirious from his lack of proper hydration the entire flight back to Japan. He had to be making this stuff up.

 

_He had to._

 

 

It’s the only plausible explanation for what he’s seeing unfold right before his eyes. No way was his boyfriend of 5 freaking years sitting with some other guy and blushing like some giddy teenager.

 

Rin stood with his feet cemented to the floor at the entrance of coffee shop with his mouth gaping like a fish.

 

Then it happened. He could physically feel his heart begin to slowly break piece by piece as he watched Yamazaki Sousuke, his boyfriend, best friend, lover, soulmate, mouth the words, “I love you,” to the stranger sitting across from him. Those impossibly bluer than blue eyes crinkled at the corners softly, and his perfect mouth curved into a smile so wide it looked like he’d just fallen in love all over again. He looked so bashful as he shielded his reddening face into his hands, smiling in complete embarrassment as the mysterious guy leaned over the table to give him a hug.

 

Worse, from the corner of his eye, Rin caught sight of a tiny velvet box sitting on the table between them.

 

To say Rin was speechless at that moment was an understatement.

His body surged with a flurry of emotions. His senses were being horribly assaulted with varying degrees of emotion: hurt, love, sadness and mostly, rage. Above all else he felt incredible rage.

His mind screamed for him to “MOVE” and his fists were clenched so tight the joints in his knuckles began to pop. There was nothing more he wanted than to run over there, grab Sousuke by his shoulders and screech in his face, “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?”

 

 

His aching fists wanted to punch him in the face so badly that they felt numb.

 

 

Twitching his leg muscles, Rin willed himself to move, to knock Sousuke out cold. He wanted to keep punching him until that awful feeling of sudden hollowness in his chest went away.

 

 

But something in him couldn’t do it.

 

His legs wouldn’t move forward.

 

He couldn’t hurt Sousuke. He could never do that.

 

 

 

_I love him too much._

 

 

He tried his best to shout, to say anything. He tried to scream in an outrage of hurt and anger at the man he loved. But he couldn’t manage even the smallest of sounds. It felt as if his throat closed up and his mouth was stapled shut.

 

Instead of doing any of those things, almost in a trance-like state, he found himself turning on his heel, throwing the luggage back over his shoulder and swinging the door of the coffee shop open with so much force it shook the walls of the establishment. Coffee patrons flinched from the sheer force of the door and many stood up in surprise, as Matsuoka Rin raced through the streets of Tokyo, not daring to look back.

 

 

*******

 

 

It was an outer body experience for Rin. It felt like he was drifting through water. He couldn’t see, no matter how many times he blinked and rubbed his eyes, everything was a huge blur. It was probably the tears welling up in his eyes, the waterfall of tears that never stopped the second he started running. He had somehow managed to make it to some far corner of a park before flopping onto a bench. It had to be some act of God to get him safely there. In his current state, he had no idea how he wasn’t mauled by a car on the way here.

 

Maybe it would be better if a car had hit him, he thought. Physical pain would have been welcomed right now, anything to overshadow the gaping hole Rin felt in his chest at that moment. Helplessly, he clutched at his chest, as if he was expecting a giant hole to be there.

 

He tucked his chin into his chest and furiously rubbed at the wetness pouring from his eyes. He must be a sight, he thinks. Here he was, a 23 year-old man, sitting in the middle of a park, face streaked with tears and snot pouring from his nose.

The attempts to clean his face were futile, because every time he passed the rough material of the hoodie over his eyes, the tears seemed to return twice as strong. His breathing suddenly began to speed up, and his heart rate spiked. The rapid thundering of his heartbeat drummed loudly in his eardrums, it was like being right next to the speakers at a rock concert.

 

_I’m going to have a panic attack._

 

The ragged breathing didn’t seem to help calm him down at all. It was as if his emotions were suffocating him, squeezing his throat tighter and tighter, until he could no longer breathe. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to maintain his composure as best he could. Drawing his legs up to his chest he tried his best to squeeze himself into a compressed ball and focused his attention on breathing.

 

For what felt like an eternity he just sat like that, his body tightly wound and his eyes clenched shut as he focused on breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth. Finally, he could feel his heart rate begin to steady. Still refusing to open his eyes, he reached into his pocket to retrieve his cell phone. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes just yet, to face the reality of the world, to see what he had just seen moments ago.

 

_Sousuke’s mouth clearly formed the words “I love you.”_

 

 

_I could spot that a mile away._

 

 

With a trembling hand he swiped his phone open and called the only person in the world he knew could help him.

 

 

He leaned against the bench and used the heel of his palm to rub furiously at his eyes, waiting for the person to answer.

 

 

_What am I going to do?_

 

_How am I supposed to move on?_

 

_Why did Sousuke look so happy without me?_

 

_Who is that? Why-_

 

 

His destructive thoughts were broken by a familiar voice, nearly knocking him off the bench in surprise.

 

“Rin! Hi! Did you just land? You weren’t supposed to land for another 6 hours!“

 

His voice sounds foreign to his own ears, and the shakiness in his words were uncharacteristic. Unknowingly, he cut off the person speaking, barely choking out, “M-M-Makoto…help… ” And _no, its not supposed to go like this. He was supposed to keep it together for just 2 minutes._

 

 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to formulate a proper sentence, but all that came out was a whoosh of air from his nose and another frail sound. Rin could hear quick movements on the other end; key’s jingling and a door shutting loudly.

 

 

“Rin? Are you okay?”

 

 

Rin sniffled in response.

 

 

“Are you crying?”

 

 

Just from the tone of his voice, Rin knew Makoto was frowning.

 

 

Rin tried to speak again, more clearly this time. “Sousuke…at the coffee shop… he-he was smiling… he was with someone…”

 

 

“Rin? I can’t understand you. What about Sousuke? Is he okay?”

 

 

Rin was now hopelessly sobbing into the receiver, trying desperately to stop the quivering of his bottom lip so he could tell Makoto what the hell happened to him this morning.

 

“Shit, Shit, Shit!” he cried. He can’t do this; he can’t bring himself to tell Makoto.

 

Telling Makoto, hearing it aloud would only make Rin realize that _his_ Sousuke didn’t love him anymore, that Sousuke had found someone else, that Sousuke wasn’t his. He would realize that this nightmare he was currently in was real and Rin wasn’t sure he was ready to face that.

 

The tears wouldn’t stop at this point. His ears registered that yes, Makoto was speaking again, but Rin couldn’t process words at that moment. Makoto was desperately trying to ask Rin a question, speaking loudly into the phone.

 

But Rin didn’t hear any of it. He was abruptly scrambling off the bench, ripping the cap off his head and throwing it onto the ground in absolute frustration, and finally shrieking into the phone like a deranged animal, “I SAW SOUSUKE WITH SOMEONE AT STARBUCKS. THERE WAS A BOX. A FUCKING RING BOX. HE TOLD THE GUY I LOVE YOU.”

 

 

The instant last of the putrid sentence left his lips, the impact of everything hit him like a punch to the gut.  Any hold he had on his humanity left the moment he saw Sousuke with that guy and Rin felt like a hole was burning through his stomach.  Slapping his forehead in anger, he cried in a sloppy, rushed sentence, “Makoto, he doesn’t love me, he doesn’t love me anymore!”

 

 

_Sousuke doesn’t love me anymore._

 

 

Makoto nearly jolted Rin from his meltdown, yelling loudly, “Rin, where are you? Tell me. I’m leaving now. I’m coming to get you.”

 

 

Some other part of his brain must have kicked into overdrive, hearing Makoto yell like that. Makoto never yelled. That alone was enough to break Rin from his current state of panic and throw him back into reality.

 

 

 

*******

 

 

Almost twenty minutes later Rin was sitting on the cement in front of the park bench, ignoring the stares of wary children and their mothers passing by as he blankly stared at the cracked screen of the phone he violently threw to the ground minutes ago.

 

Of course his screen picture was of Sousuke, _the damn beautiful male model._  He had taken it the last time he and Sousuke went to the beach. Rin used to spend weeks missing that face, and longed for the days when he could return to Japan. Shoving the phone far into his pocket, he reached for something in his backpack, something he had been keeping secret for weeks now. Unzipping the bag, he stopped halfway when he realized that the news meant nothing now. The secret Rin had been holding onto was no longer important.

 

Slapping both palms onto his face, he let out a pained cry. Being the hopeless romantic loser he was, Rin had hoped they’d get married soon. Yes, they were quite young, only being 23, but he and Sousuke were more than ready for that kind of commitment. It was true when people said that finding your soulmate was like finding your other half, he firmly believed that after falling in love with Sousuke. Rin had dreamed of all dumb stuff they would do as a married couple, like waking up in each other’s arms, or dancing in the rain. He even thought of the unromantic shit, like arguing over bills and whose mother’s house they would visit on Christmas each year.

 

 

It was clear Rin was too much of a romantic to be thinking like that. _Get married? What bullshit that was._

 

 

Months away from each other would clearly make Sousuke want to stray away. It had to take its toll on the guy. No way was a gorgeous guy like Sousuke, who literally had girls and guys throwing themselves at him, going to remain faithful forever. Sousuke could have anyone he wanted, so why would he want a barnacle like Rin? Rin only slowed him down in life. Rin was a pest.

 

Now he felt stupid.

 

All that time he spent, what was it for?

 

Logically, he should just give Sosuke the middle finger and move on with his life. Rin didn’t need an unfaithful cheating bastard like him. He was better than that, he deserved better.

 

So _why_ , why did his heart feel like it got ripped out and stabbed? Why was Rin the one who felt like he got hit by a bus? Why was he the one who hurt so bad when Sousuke got to be happy?

 

 

“-Rin.”

 

Without even realizing it, an all too familiar figure was crouched on the ground in front of him, looking at him sadly. Makoto tried to brush away the wet hairs sticking to Rin’s face, to make eye contact. Reluctantly, Rin brought those tear filled, ruby red eyes to meet Makoto’s forever loving emerald ones.

One could almost count the seconds, 1…2…3, before Rin has to turn his head away from the caring in Makoto's eyes before he starts crying again. Makoto's expression turns concerned as he leans forwards quickly, and goes to rub Rin’s arms in a motherly manner.

 

“Rin…what happened?” Makoto asks, voice riddled with concern.

 

Rin explains everything to him between hysterical sobs.

 

 

*******

 

 

For a while, Makoto sat in front of Rin, letting the veracity of everything sink in. The longer they sat, the more pity Makoto seemed to feel for his friend. He tried many times to say something to Rin, but seemed to be at a complete loss of what to say. 

 

Rin looked away in embarrassment and squeezed his eyes shut because he could feel even more tears threatening to escape his eyes if this bout of silence between them continued. Makoto was really a Saint; Rin could tell just how hard Makoto was trying to help, to say the right thing. Haru was lucky to have a guy like him, Rin thought.

 

 

 

*******

 

 

Rin doesn’t say anything as Makoto finally breaks the silence to lift him off the ground.

 

 

He doesn’t say anything when Makoto suddenly engulfs him in a hug, whispering softly, “I’m so sorry.”

 

 

Rin especially doesn’t say anything when he hears Makoto say, “It’s going to be okay.”

 

 

_It’s not going to be okay. Nothing is ever going to be okay because the love of his life no longer loves him, and Rin doesn’t think he can ever be whole again. Rin so desperately wishes he could believe Makoto, but knows in the depths of his heart that he didn’t just lose Sousuke, he lost an entire part of his being and that the gaping hole in his chest where his heart used to be can never be filled for the rest of eternity._

 

_Rin knows that he can never function without Sousuke because Sosuske was his reason for waking up in the morning._ _Sousuke was the only one who could ever make Rin feel better._ _So no, Makoto, it’s not going to be okay._

 

_Without Sousuke, Rin was never going to be okay._

 

 

 

“Makoto knows it too.” he thinks, because as they walk out of the park, he feels Makoto press a kiss full of apology and sympathy to the top of his head, before wrapping his arm securely around Rin’s shoulder.

 

 

Makoto’s holding him tight, trying his best to stop his own tears for Rin.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

It’s evening now, and Rin was sitting in Haru and Makoto’s tiny apartment staring into his cup of tea like it held the answers of the universe.  It was dead silent after a teary-eyed Makoto explained to Haru what happened earlier that day.

 

Surprisingly, Haru runs up to hug him. It’s stiff, one-armed and awkward, but the meaning of his gesture is still received.

 

Rin can’t help but snicker at Haru’s attempt to be comforting and realizes that _yeah_ , he has the two best friends ever. With a light sock to Rin’s arm, Haru concludes, “I never liked Sousuke anyway.”

 

Currently, staring into his cup of tea, Rin thinks about is how he’s supposed to patch his life back together. All his plans involved Sousuke and Rin has no idea what he’s supposed to do now that he won’t have him anymore. Makoto sits across from him, book in hand, but from behind the pages he’s carefully studying Rin. It’s strange, since picking Rin up from the park, Makoto hasn’t said much. It was actually starting to piss Rin off a little. He knew Makoto meant well, to give him space, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was being studied under a microscope. Those green eyes had been looking at him full of apology, sadness and pity for the past few hours.

 

“Stop looking at me like that” he bites out.

 

Makoto flinches in response.

 

Rin feels remorse punch him in the chest. All he ever did was push people away. Maybe that’s why Sousuke was leaving him, because Rin was just too difficult a person to deal with sometimes.  However, Saint Makoto didn’t do anything, he shouldn’t be taking his frustrations out on his friend. Rin nudged his foot under the table to tap Makoto. 

 

“Oi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that-“

 

“It’s okay. I know you didn’t.”

 

_Damn he was really a Saint._

 

Makoto set his book down, his face set in concentration.

 

“I’m sorry if I've been coming off weird. I’ve just been thinking a lot about what happened. I’m just as confused as you are, when just a few months ago-”

 

“-What?” Rin asks, his voice holding no malice, “What do you mean you’re confused? Its pretty obvious he doesn’t give a shit about me anymore. End of story."

 

Rin looked down into his cup again and whispered, “Don't you get it? I’m not good enough for him anymore. Or maybe I’m too damn difficult to get along with. Maybe he's tired of me."

 

Gently grabbing Rin's arm, Makoto shook it, exclaiming, “No! Don’t say that. That’s not true. ”

 

Upon hearing their conversation, Haru entered the living room swiftly and cut in, “This isn’t your fault, Rin.”

 

Makoto nodded his head furiously, saying with a sense of finality, “Rin, listen to me, Sousuke does love you. He does. If anything he doesn’t deserve you.”

 

Haru’s eyes shined with an equal determination.

 

Rin felt like he was getting a pep-talk from his mom and dad. Sure, they meant well, but their words didn’t do anything to make him feel better. Rolling his eyes at their parental-ness, Rin replied, “You’re supposed to say that, that’s what friends do.”

 

Shuffling on his knees over to Rin's side of the table, Makoto pulled Rin’s broken phone from his pocket. Rin instantly pulled away, not wanting to see the incriminating image of Sousuke on his phone. He had given Makoto his cell phone the minute they came to the apartment, telling him to hold it so he wouldn’t do anything stupid. _Like calling Sousuke and begging for him to love him more than the other guy._

 

“I changed the picture,” Makoto declared, a small smile on his face. Tentatively, Rin turned back around, his expression unconvinced. True to word, Makoto did change the picture, and seeing his new homescreen made Rin laugh at how cheesy his friend was.

 

Raising an eyebrow, Rin smirked, “Really Tachibana, kittens?”

 

Makoto quickly plucked the phone from Rin’s hands, a blush creeping on his cheeks. “What wrong with kittens!”

 

Rin affectionately shoved Makoto, who diverted his eyes in embarrassment.

 

“It’s cute. Thanks.”

 

“That’s not it, I want to show you something else. ” Makoto clicked through Rin’s phone until he found what he wanted, and handed him the phone.

 

“Sousuke called you 8 times and left you 4 text messages.”

 

With an obnoxious scoff, Rin threw the phone onto the coffee table. “Well yeah he’s calling me. He was supposed to meet me at the airport this afternoon. I got an earlier flight to surprise him though. I’m sure he’s wondering where the hell I am. It’s probably interfering with his plans to dump me.”

 

Makoto stared at the phone lying on the table with great concern.

 

“What if he’s still looking for you?”

 

“I really don’t care.”

 

There was a long drawn out pause. Haru and Makoto seemed to have some wordless conversation before Makoto said in a quiet voice, “But, you’ll have to talk to him eventually.”

 

Rin blew the strands of hair hanging in front of his face angrily, as Makoto and Haru stared at Rin. 

 

Makoto was right, _as always._  Rin would have to talk to him eventually, probably sooner than later. But talking to Sousuke would mean Rin was going to officially be dumped. He couldn’t bear to face the inevitable end of their relationship. If he could avoid Sousuke forever he would rather do that than hear the words, “I’m breaking up with you.”

 

Haru seemed to read Rin’s mind, _that mind-reading freak,_  and said with a shrug, “Just break up with him first. Before he can break up with you.”

 

Makoto whipped his head to Haru, his face similar to a mother about to scold her kid. Makoto's eyes were blown out wide and his mouth was set is a hard frown. He slammed a hand on the table and glared at Haru with a stern expression. In response, Haru looked to the side and let out a “tch.”

  

Looking back at Rin with a new fire his eyes, Makoto declared, “NO! Don’t break up with him. Don’t listen to Haru. Just see what Sousuke has to say first! Don’t jump to conclusions!”

 

Eyes glued to the phone on the table, Makoto coaxed his head and raised his eyebrows in its direction, like he was beckoning Rin to take a look at the plastic devil.

 

Rin _was_ curious. Eight calls were a lot.

 

Letting out a dramatic sigh, he reached for his phone reluctantly. Rin read through the line of notifications:

 

 _‘8 missed calls’_ and _‘6 text messages’_

 

 "I'm only doing this to humor you," Rin sighed, before swiping his thumb across the screen.  

 

Only 4 text messages are from Sousuke, which he decides to read later. The other two are from his sister, asking if he landed. He quickly replies to her, telling her not to worry.

 

He brings up Sousuke’s texts tentatively, thumb hovering over his name on the screen and feels anxiety rise in his chest again.

 

Slowly, Makoto and Haru slide next to Rin, eyes wide and faces curious. Rin scowls a little at the intrusion of his personal space. But, he reminds himself that these were his best friends, and it was okay to let people in sometimes. That’s why he holds the phone farther away from his face, so they can read as well.

 

Mustering his courage, he taps the phone, bringing up the first text.

 

_Where are you? You were supposed to land 2 hours ago_

Rin feels the warmth of Haru and Makoto’s body heat on each side of him as they read the text over his shoulders. It gives him a little strength now, to go ahead and scroll to the next three messages. It felt nice to know that he had “mama bear” and “papa bear” on either side of him, to protect him. If worse comes to worse, he knew they would always pick him back up. To his right, Makoto is nearly vibrating in anticipation, and Haru’s eyes actually widen slightly as they scroll through each text message.

 

_Please answer your phone. Call me when you get this_

_Seriously, if this is some joke I’m not laughing. Where are you?_

_You’re scaring me. I’m worried. Call me_

Rin’s heart clenched painfully when he read the last one.  Sousuke has always been extremely protective of Rin. He remembers being in Thailand with Haru and Makoto on vacation, and getting separated from their tour group. Haru says that Sousuke nearly lost his shit because Rin got separated while taking pictures. All of them will never forget seeing the relief on Sousuke’s face and the almost tears to his eyes when Rin did catch up to them, happily waving his camera saying, “I got the shot!” For the duration of the trip Sousuke kept a firm hand wrapped around Rin’s own, and never let go.

 

He knows Makoto catches it too, because he lets out a soft whimper of sympathy and grabs Rin’s upper arms to shake him lightly. Rin just lets him, as he gets jolted side to side with the motion. Haru visibly stiffens at the last text and lowers his eyebrows in contemplation.

 

“Rin! He’s so worried!”

 

Rin nods and unconsciously begins to reply, and then tossed the phone as if it were an exploding bomb. As he watched it slide across the table like a hockey puck, he let out a stream of curses while folding his arms over his chest angrily. 

 

Makoto looked to Rin, horrified, as if Rin had kicked a kitten right before his eyes. “W-what? You’re not going to reply? But look at him!”

 

Rin glared at the demon phone from across the table and decided that, no, he wasn’t going to reply until he got his thoughts sorted out. Could he handle Sousuke dumping him? Sure, maybe he could...after he ripped his own ears off.

 

Running a finger through his hair he sighed loudly. “I can’t reply… I just can’t do it. Look, he had a _ring_ for the guy.  He’s clearly moved on, and it seems serious. I’ll talk to him in a few days.”

 

_Or never._

 

Haru stood from his spot on the floor with a look of understanding, clapping his hand to Rin's shoulder before exiting the room. “I’m going to clean up dinner.”

 

Rin went to stand up and go after Haru, but was stopped by Makoto’s hand on his wrist. “You don’t have to help him, Rin. He needs his time to think. This whole thing surprised him as much as it surprised you.”

 

 

 

******

 

 

 

So there they were, just Makoto and Rin in the living room, staring at the cracked phone lying on the table. There was another wave of silence between the two. After watching Makoto twiddle his thumbs and trace the pattern of wood on their coffee table with his fingers, Rin decided he should break the silence first.

 

Clearing his throat awkwardly, he diverted his eyes to the side and croaked, “Thanks, Makoto. *Ahem * for everything today, for everything you do all the time…”

 

The last part came out as a quiet mumble, but he knows Makoto heard it because he was smiling proudly at Rin.

 

“Anytime, Rin. “

 

“But I mean it, thank you. I’m really sorry you had to see that today. I really hate asking for help like that.”

 

Makoto sat, smiling widely and shaking his head.

 

“You don’t have to thank me.”

 

Rin sat there for a few quiet moments before playfully nudging Makoto with his shoulder, replying, “But I want to...so, _thanks_.”

 

It took all but 2 seconds before Rin had an armful of a whimpering Makoto. Nearly tackling Rin to the floor in a hug he cried, “I promise it’s going to be okay! I promise! You can stay with us! We don’t mind.”

 

“You know, for a big guy you are such a softie.”

 

“Oh stop it, Rin-Rin. You’re ruining the moment.” 

 

Rolling his eyes at the old nickname, he indulged his friend in hug and smiled to himself. He’s done nothing to deserve friends like Makoto and Haru, their undying kindness and acceptance of him. Rin is beyond grateful, and always reminds himself to always show how much he appreciates them.

 

 

 

*******

 

 

It was at that moment the doorbell rings. Something from the kitchen clatters to the floor and Makoto detached himself from Rin and jumped into a standing position like the ground was just set on fire. Haru poked his head from the kitchen and pierced Makoto with a hard stare. How they communicate like this, Rin will never know. He assumes its some weird silent "Haru language" only Makoto can understand. Must be some weird couple language or some freaky telepathy. Before Rin realizes they were even done “talking,” both of them were up and running to the front door at the blink of an eye. Rin presses his hands onto the coffee table to stand up and follow them to the door, but his legs freeze.

 

Rin’s stomach drops for what must have been the umpteenth time that day when he realizes who might be on the other side of that door.

 

Dread boils at the pit of his stomach at the thought.

 

_No, Sousuke would never come here._

 

Despite Sousuke being “okay” with Haru, a slight stiffness in the air between them still hangs. Sure, Sousuke sounded worried in his texts, but no way would he be _that_ desperate to come all the way to their apartment in search of Rin.

 

However, Sousuke liked Makoto. The two giants even hung out from time to time. But Haru? It was impossible that Sousuke would seek out Haru even if they were the last two people on earth. Haru felt the same way, and both blue-eyed males wordlessly agreed that as long as they could limit their one-on-one contact, they would be fine.

 

So, no way could that be Sousuke right now. _Impossible._

 

Just incase, Rin decided to dive behind their breakfast counter and land a low crouch, ear pressed to the wall carefully.

 

When Haru and Makoto open the door, a familiar voice nearly screams into their faces frantically, “Where’s Rin? Did he call you? Is he here? I can’t find him!”

 

Rin plastered himself to the wall in an attempt to disappear. Sousuke’s luxuriously deep voice never failed to make him weak at the knees, and the underlying bit of panic in his voice made him want to throw himself at the man and weep.

 

Haru spoke first, his voice tinged with anger as he spat, “Rin’s fine. Go away.”

 

Sousuke rapidly asked again, “Is he here?”

 

Makoto spoke next, “Rin’s not in the mood to talk. I think you should wait for him to call you.”

 

“W-what? Why? Is he okay? Where is he, do you know? Is he here?”

 

Rin swears he hears Makoto whimper when Sousuke asks, “Can I please come in, Tachibana?”

 

The damn cunning asshole was smart, to ask Makoto rather than Haru. He felt bad for Makoto. He stood no chance at lying to Sousuke. They were “bro’s" at this point in their friendship. Makoto was going to cave into Sousuke’s request any second. Rin could feel it. Cautiously, Rin moved to peer from his hiding spot, only to see Makoto violently sweating at Sousuke’s request, while Haru pinned Sousuke with an intense glare.

 

"Uh..."

 

Rin had to save him, he couldn’t ask Makoto to do anything more for him, he had done so much already. He could see Haru shaking his head "no" but Sousuke ignored him and kept his pleading eyes focused on Makoto. No one stood a chance against Sousuke's puppy dog eyes, especially not animal- loving Makoto. Makoto was done for. Rin had to do something.

 

Holding onto his determination to save Makoto, Rin squeezed his eyes and counted to three, then pushed himself off the floor. He popped up like a jack-in-the-box from behind the counter. 

 

Three sets of eyes locked onto the redhead instantly. Haru looked shocked, Makoto looked like he was going to cry, but it was Sousukes’s gorgeous blue eyes that seemed to catch his attention immediately.

 

 _This is not how this was supposed to go. That fucking gorgeous fucker can’t come here looking like that. Rin knew Sousuke wasn't even trying, he just always looked like he stepped out of a magazine ad._  

 

After all this time, Rin knew that he would never get sick of looking at Sousuke. It was like falling in love all over again. _Every.Damn.Time._ Even when he got old, when all those godly muscles turn to chub, he knew he would always love him. 

 

And right now Sousuke was making it especially hard for Rin to hold onto his anger. There he stood, tall and powerful, wearing a stupid button-up shirt that curved and folded perfectly around every finely sculpted muscle that made up Yamazaki Sousuke. The collar of his shirt flapped perfectly around his thick attractive neck, and the undone buttons at the very top exposed a hint of those breathtaking collarbones. Rin could imagine slowly unbuttoning his shirt, revealing his rock hard abs and incredible chest. Or perhaps he would rip the entire shirt off in one go. His eyes traveled down to the pants that were lucky enough to wrap themselves around Sousuke’s endlessly long, muscular legs. _We all wish we could be those pants._ Either way, the sight of Sousuke wearing any clothes should be deemed illegal.

 

_Sousuke was the walking wet dream._

 

It should definitely be illegal for anyone to be that attractive, and all Rin’s dirty thoughts seemed to go right to a certain lower part of his anatomy the instant he drank Sousuke in. RIn was beyond mad. He should not he undressing Sousuke with his eyes right now. This was not the time to be thinking like that. It pissed Rin off so much, because while he should be socking that magnificent model-esque face with all his might, he could only stand there and try to contain his drool.

 

_Damn you Mr. and Mrs. Yamazaki. Damn you and your godly genes that created this incredibly handsome man you call your son._

 

Sousuke stood there, blinking in disbelief, as if he couldn’t believe that Rin was standing there before him. He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts, then turned his stunning eyebrows in concern as he stammered, “Rin! What’s wrong? What are you doing here?”

 

Rin held onto all every possible bit of anger, hurt, and rage he felt toward the Adonis standing before him, and marched to the front door. Rin speared Sousuke with a look that could kill as he let his anger fester and grow with each step. The look on Rin's face blew the one Haru was sporting far out of the water. At that moment Rin could decimate entire armies in mere seconds with that one look.  Haru and Makoto ducked out of his path, their faces full of fear at Rin’s murderous expression

 

His foot steps loud in his hears, he stomped up to the handsome asshole before him and drew his arms back. With the palms of his hands, he used all the force in the world to shove that beautiful rock hard chest with all his strength. Shocked by Rin’s vicious demeanor, and surprise shove, Sousuke was sent stumbling out of the doorway completely dumbfounded.

 

Fueled with anger, Rin shoved him a few more times, but on his fifth attempt Sousuke easily swatted his hands away and grabbed the sides of his face tenderly. His large hands nearly covered the entire side of Rin’s head as he stroked the tears Rin didn’t even know were pouring from his eyes. Sousuke was looking at him with a look so caring that it physically hurt Rin. He leaned in close, to kiss Rin, but Rin set his face into a menacing scowl stopping Sousuke immediately.

 

“R-Rin? What’s wrong?” he asked. Sousuke looked as if he could cry at that moment, he glided his thumbs over Rin's cheeks soothingly, wiping the tears away. Rin had never pushed him away before. He was the only person the world didn’t push away, both physically and emotionally. But Rin had to find the strength deep within himself to keep going. He was determined to finish his tirade at all costs. It was decided that Haru was right, he was going to have to breakup with Sousuke before Sousuke could break up with him. 

 

With a snarl, Rin spat “What’s wrong? WHAT’S WRONG?”

 

He flailed his arms wildly to break Sousuke’s hold and took several steps back.

 

Sousuke slowly nodded his head, his arms still hovering in the air from where he just held Rin, and watched him like a cornered animal.  

 

That chiseled face looked completely devastated, and those aquamarine eyes glistened with pain. 

 

It was a direct stab to the heart, to see Sousuke look at him like that, so he squeezed his eyes shut and tersely growled, “I saw you. I saw you this morning at Starbucks.”

 

Those blue eyes Rin had fallen in love with widened, and his thick brows lifted high onto his forehead.

 

“Nothing to say?” Rin screamed. He walked over and poked Sousuke in the chest, _hard._ “Yeah, _Yamazaki,_ I saw you today with your new boyfriend, telling him _I love you_ and shit! And giving him a fucking ring!”

 

He threw his head back and cackled, but his laugh had no humor behind it. Waving his arms high in the air and turning around, Rin continued to yell, “Jokes on me huh? Your boyfriend went and traded you in! Wanted an upgrade! Found someone better than you! Is that what you’re here to tell me?”

 

Sousuke stood there, paralyzed at what Rin had just told him, but couldn’t bring himself to speak. He wisely stayed quiet, but his eyes chased Rin’s erratic movements carefully.

 

“Let me tell you something _Yamazaki,_ you will never find someone better than me. You will never find someone so fucking devoted to you. I happily skipped an entire season of training just to go with you to physical therapy. I gladly told the Olympic team two years ago that they could fuck off trying to recruit me because my boyfriend needed me and they would have to wait.”

 

Unknowingly, Rin started to cry even more, snot decorating his face as he tried to swat it away roughly with his hand.

 

“Fuck! I cried myself to sleep every night after I talked to you because I missed you that much. Even after we just talked, I still cried because I wanted to quit swimming, come home and be with you forever.”

 

At this point Rin was panting like he just ran a marathon. He felt so angry and frustrated at the man before him. He had no idea where to even begin to explain how badly it hurt to have the person you knew was your soulmate love someone else. There weren't enough words in the world to describe the incredible sense of loss Rin felt. He had given his heart,  _his soul_ to Sousuke, and without him he was just an empty shell of nothingness.

 

Rin wanted to tell Sousuke all these things, and more, but couldn't find a way to get it out. 

 

All he was able to do was limply drop to this knees in defeat and let out some animalistic sound filled with sorrow and complete frustration as he raked his hands through his hair and pulled hard.

 

“Why am I not enough for you?” he whispered, mostly to himself.  In a small, broken voice he asked, “Why did you do this to me Sousuke? Why did you make me love you and then absolutely crush me? Why don’t you love me anymore?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

 

Sousuke set his jaw firmly in place, not daring to speak as he watched his crying boyfriend. Those teal eyes looked to Rin like he was the most precious thing in the universe. It really wasn’t hard to do that; _Rin was Sousuke’s entire world._ He understood now, why Rin was acting like this and wanted so desperately to explain himself and hide his sobbing boyfriend into the safe haven of his arms. It broke him to see Rin like this. 

 

When Rin finally stopped shouting and sunk to his knees Sousuke took the opportunity to lift Rin and shove his face tightly into his own chest.

 

As expected, trying to hug Rin right now was like trying to hug an angry cat; both were not going to make this easy.

 

Rin started to twist his body and wrangle his arms from under Sousuke. He was screaming, but Sousuke had effectively shoved Rin’s face so snugly into his chest, all he heard was muffled screeching.  It was kind of cute actually, Sousuke thought. Rin’s attempts to escape were futile, no matter how much he struggled.

 

Despite his heart nearly bursting with love for the angry man, Sousuke still felt a tinge of hurt at Rin’s words. Burying that handsome face into a tuft of red hair, Sousuke kissed the top of his head softly and in a ragged voice, laced with concern, he asked, “You think I don’t love you anymore?”

 

At that point Rin was so exhausted from all the crap he dealt with that day he couldn’t bring himself to speak or move from the anchor of Sousuke’s arms. He managed to jerk his head as a way of saying, “yes.”

 

Sousuke's body went rigid and the muscles around his neck flexed as he swallowed hard. 

 

The lullaby of Sousuke's inhales and exhales reminded Rin of crashing waves at beach, and he couldn't help but feel at ease. The corners of his eyes felt wet, and his lashes were stained with tears as he began to cry even more.  _"It's not fair" he thought. "You can't do this to me."_ Rin mindlessly grabbed to the back of Sousuke's shirt and balled the fabric between clenched fists. He let out a shuddering breath before burying his face into Sousuke, clinging to him like his life-support. 

 

_"Just 5 more minutes. I'll give anything to have him hold me like this for 5 minutes."_

 

Apparently Rin had asked for too much, because Sousuke was slowly releasing his hold on Rin's shoulders and moved his arms to drop behind Rin's waist. 

 

"Rin, look at me. _Please_." Sousuke whispered in a shaky voice. “That guy, at Starbucks, the one you saw-“

 

Despite his heart nearly wanting to burst, he was glad he finally managed to look up into Sousuke's eyes. Those aquamarine pupils were certainly a sight to behold; they should be crowned the eighth wonder of the word. They were even bluer than Haru’s and had different shades of teal, cyan, and turquoise mixing together to create a a completely new shade of blue. Rin wanted to get lost in those eyes and never find his way out. He also took these moments to breathe in Sousuke's scent.  _Damn did he always smell good._ If you could bottle up what “tall-dark and handsome” smelled like, it would be “Eu de Sousuke.” Rin tried to ingrain it into his memories forever, because the bomb he had been waiting for all day was about to explode

 

_Maybe here, in Sousuke’s arms, the impact of everything wouldn’t hurt so badly,_  he thought.

 

Any thought Rin had to break up with Sousuke a few minutes ago blew out like a candle the instant Sousuke wrapped his arms around Rin.

_"I’m safe here. Nothing could hurt me right now."_

 

He looked up through his lashes at the man he loved and thought, “ _I hope that other guy makes you happy. You deserve everything."_

 

His tantalizing eyes completely hypnotized Rin into a state of peace.  Only Sousuke had this power over Rin. _It wasn't fair._ Under his spell, Rin felt like he could take on the world, even if his world was about to be completely destroyed. Sousuke's voice melted into the background as Rin floated in complete ecstasy, his senses overtaken by everything Sousuke. 

_"Here it comes. The shit is about to hit the fan and all I can think about is how good it feels to have him hold me like this."_

 

_"I could stay like this forever."_

 

He knew it was coming, the grand finale. This was when his heart would officially stop beating forever.

 

He would have to throw away all his dreams of being “Yamazaki Rin.”

 

Rin was preparing himself to throw a lifetime of happiness away. The next words out of Sousuke’s mouth would be the end of everything.

 

_"I can handle this,"_  he thought. " _As long as he’s holding me right now, I’ll be okay with just this much."_

 

Rin closed his eyes and braced for impact. 

 

“- you know him, it's Kisumi.”

 

The dreamlike spell Sousuke cast upon Rin dispersed. It was like someone had popped a bubble on Rin's world. If a record player were nearby, it would make that horrible scratching sound at Rin’s return to reality with Sousuke's words. 

 

Rin couldn’t do anything for a few seconds. His brain seemed to slowly process Sousuke's words, before crumpling into a ball of confusion, disbelief and surprise. He couldn’t even think of a way to express his level of shock. His eyes were so blown out so widely he thought they might pop out.

 

Instead of the anger his voice was laden with before, his voice comes out embarrassingly high as he gasps, _“Huh?”_

Rin whipped his entire head up to Sousuke, to _really_ look at him. Sousuke’s eyes were now twinkling with amusement at Rin’s reaction, his perfect eyebrows lifted as he repeated slowly, enunciating each word, “That was Kisumi.”

 

Rin blinked a few times as he waited for the words to reach his brain. Comprehension slowly began to spread through him like slow moving lava as he shimmied out of Sousuke’s now loose grip. He moved in a mess of uncoordinated movements and shook his head furiously. 

 

Looking at the ground, his brain rapidly fired and connected what Sousuke had just told him.

 

_"Holy shit! That was Kisumi."_

_Shigino Kisumi._

Shigino Kisumi, their old friend from elementary school. The pink-haired wonder who played basketball with Makoto and Sousuke on the weekends.

 

That was Shigino Kisumi at the coffee shop. That was Kisumi, their incredibly handsome, tall,  _straight,_ friend who could pick up any _girl_ he wanted with the flick of a wrist.

 

 

_"Oh fuck."_

 

 

 

_"Oh fucking fuck."_

 

 

 

Numbly standing there, Rin felt a different type of panic than before.

 

 

_Matsuoka, you really fucked up._

 

 

If a person could die from embarrassment, Rin would be the first confirmed case.

 

 

Sousuke instantly read the sudden dread blooming all over Rin’s face, and stepped toward him with a huge smile. He quickly pressed a playful kiss to his reddening boyfriend’s temple.

 

“Something wrong, _cupcake_?”

 

Rin’s face now resembled the exact shade of his hair. He had never fucked up more in his life. Rin wanted to stay there and wallow in his self-pity forever.

 

_What the hell._

 

That was Shigino Kisumi, _the incredibly straight Kisumi_.

 

 

_What the shit._

 

 Then, he realized what Sousuke just called him.

 

_"Cupcake."_

 

That ass knew how to push all his buttons didn’t he? But Rin was far too embarrassed and ashamed for acting how he just did, so he couldn’t reply with his usual snarky comeback. Instead, he just slapped his face into his hands in an effort to hide. Pulling the sides of his face down, he groaned loudly in embarrassment.

 

Sousuke was standing in front of him with his arms crossed, leaning his weight on one leg with a huge knowing grin on his face asking again, “Rin, look at me please.”

 

Too embarrassed to face him, Rin turned away, huffing, “No.”

 

Sousuke rolled his eyes and easily turned Rin to face him. Rin was notoriously stubborn, and wouldn’t budge for anything at times. But with Sousuke, he was powerless.

 

Taking Rin’s hands off his face in one quick movement, Sousuke slid his hands to the back of his head and kissed him like his life depended on it. Rin’s own mouth was trembling at what was their first kiss in a long time, but as always, Sousuke’s was confident and steady. Rin nearly gasped the instant their lips met, but the moment he felt Sousuke's tongue start to poke between his lips, he relaxed instantly. It felt amazing, passionate, _like home_ , to feel Sousuke’s perfect mouth upon his own after three long months in Australia. How he missed feeling of those soft lips capturing his like they were now, _claiming him._ Their lips moved in perfect synchronization as Sousuke bit on Rin’s bottom lip and sucked on it continuously, his tongue exploring every inch of Rin’s mouth.

 

_Rin was putty in his hands._

 

Just as Sousuke started to run his fingers through his hair, to bring Rin even deeper into their intense kiss, Rin remembered something important and disconnected himself from Sousuke’s mouth with a loud wet smack.

 

 

“Wait! Hold the fuck up!"

 

Sousuke groaned loudly at the loss of contact.

 

“What was that? The ring box?”

 

Eyes starting pointedly at Rin’s mouth, his eyes dark and predatory Sousuke replied in a lusty voice, “Can we talk about that later? I want to keep kissing you. You taste amazing. I’ve missed you so much.” Sousuke’s breathing was low and wolfish. He sounded incredibly husky at the moment and he was biting and licking his lips like a starved man. Meanwhile, his eyes were walking the line between predatory and "ready for the bedroom" as he hungrily stared at Rin. 

 

Sometime later Rin knew he would regret this. Only complete idiots would deny the hot ball of sex standing before him. But he _was_ an idiot so much like a child he petulantly stomped his foot and demanded, “No! You still gave him a ring! And I saw you tell him ‘I love you’ what the fuck Sousuke!”

 

In reaction to Rin’s words, Sousuke let go of Rin and took a few steps back. He brought a large hand to the back of his neck and scratched it awkwardly. His predatory demeanor deflated instantly at Rin's question. For the first time this evening, he actually looked away from Rin and scrunched his face in contemplation.

 

Those blue eyes now looked to the side, purposefully away from Rin as he rubbed his neck. He looked conflicted at the moment. 

 

But Rin glared at Sousuke, expectant of an answer. He was growing impatient at the silence and loudly stomped his foot on the floor. “Answer the damn question!”

 

Very slowly, Sousuke slid his hand from his neck and into the back pockets of his pants, and looked up from under his dark lashes at Rin with those bluer then blue eyes. He licked his lips and cleared his throat before asking,“Rin, you know I love you right? More than anything?”

 

Rin shrugged in response and motioned with his hand to continue.

 

Taking a few steps closer, Sousuke grabbed onto Rin's shoulders and rubbed them gently. “I love you, _so much_ , forever and longer."

 

Taking a deep breath through his nose he paused, his mouth set in a firm line as he intently stared at Rin. It seemed he was carefully choosing his next words before speaking again.

 

“What you saw today, you weren’t supposed to see. But not for the reasons you think. I’m not cheating on you. I swear on my life I will never love anyone, anything, more than I love you. I would never cheat on you; that’s crazy. You’re absolutely perfect.”

 

Suddenly, he was back in Rin’s space, holding Rin’s hands inside his own, kissing Rin’s knuckles so sweetly you’d think they were the most delicate things on earth.  _To Sousuke, they were._

 

Looking directly at Rin, those ocean blue eyes swimming in nothing but adoration, he spoke softly. “Matsuoka Rin, I love you and only you. I will tell you that as many times as you want, as many times as you need to hear it. I will never stop showing you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. So please don’t think I would ever not want you. Even when I’m mad at you, or when we argue, I’m always going to love you no matter what.”

 

Rin was becoming increasingly flustered at the honesty of Sousuke’s words and how easily they had come out. He swears steam was about to come out from his ears any second if Sousuke kept this up.

 

Those glorious hands found their way around his face again as they stroked the sides of his cheeks lovingly. “I’m going to love you until you’re old and wrinkly. God, you have no idea how in love with you I am.”

 

The words were too unguarded, too pure of tender love. It was making Rin choke up with so much emotion he felt like crying again. He wanted to shake Sousuke and ask him what the hell he saw in a guy like him.

 

Rin was overly emotional and pushed everyone away. He was always fucking up in the biggest way possible and was bad at showing his emotions. Especially now, Rin wanted so badly to find the right words to say, to tell Sousuke how much he loved him too. He wanted to apologize for how he completely fucked up today and that he doesn’t see how Sousuke could possibly say these things to him after the shit Rin just pulled.

 

Sousuke's little declaration of love sounded better than even the greatest of symphonies, and even though Rin must have heard Sousuke tell him ‘I love you’ a million times, he knew the phrase would never wear out as long as Sousuke was the one saying it to him.

 

Inwardly, he screamed at his inability to express himself better. He was no Sousuke; he was no Makoto when it came to dictating himself. He was Rin, the blubbering idiot who was shit with his words, maybe even more shit than Haru. At least Haru just shut up most of the time. It infuriated him that at the most important times, like right now, his brain could not think of anything to say. So naturally, Rin resorted to his fail-safe form of expression; _cursing._  “ _Fucking shit._  Sousuke…I’m sorry… I’m really fucking sorry… I love you too, okay? _Shit, I'm so bad at this._ Please forgive me. I-”

 

Rin was shushed with a light kiss and Sousuke continued talking against his lips, each word a kiss in itself. “I know you do, I know you love me too. I’m so lucky to have you love me. I apologize, Rin. I never want you to go through what you must have felt today. I’m the one who’s sorry, not you.”

 

He tried to cut Sousuke off again, but Sousuke leaned down started kissing Rin, on his cheeks, on his nose, then everywhere, like he was making a map of his face. Their lips met in an unbreakable contract of love and Rin melts all over again. Sousuke kisses were always intense and passionate. Rin has always loved how he tucked him into the space of his large body and made him feel safe and protected. If humanly possible, he thinks he melts even more when Sousuke's long fingers intertwine with his red hair and hold him there, as if to never let him go.

 

His own hands burn with excitement as he remembers to move them, and slides them over every curve and dip of Sousuke’s impressive shoulders and finely muscled chest. It’s been a too long since he’d been kissed like this, by Sousuke.  Rin is now languidly gliding his tongue against Sousuke's slowly as they kiss again.

 

When Rin finally pulls away for air, Sousuke gives Rin no time to recover as he easily bends down and latches his mouth onto Rin’s soft neck. He leaves a trail of small kisses along his jaw, making his way down his neck. He scrapes over it with his teeth and leaves light nips down to the dip in Rin’s collar bone. Meanwhile, those hands are running themselves in one smooth motion down Rin's cheeks, chest, then abs, before finally landing on their final destination,  _Rin's ass._ Sousuke grabs a handful greedily and _squeezes._

 

Rin’s whimpering now because he thinks he's seeing stars, and has to tap on Sousuke’s back frantically to _please stop_ because he realizes with horror that this could get heated really quickly and they weren’t even home.

 

Sousuke finally releases his mouth from where he was wetly kissing Rin’s neck and stands up, his large arms wrapped firmly around his lover.

 

They're both panting, but smiling with their eyes, and Sousuke looks at Rin like he'd just won the biggest prize of all.

 

The smile currently on Sousuke’s face was the one solely reserved for Rin, and the look in those impossibly blue eyes could only be directed at one person in this world. That devastating smile nearly split his face in half, and his cerulean eyes glowed with nothing but love as he stood there taking in the sight of Rin. He held onto Rin with his thumb stroking Rin’s hip carefully. In turn, Rin held onto Sousuke’s shoulders to steady himself as they shared a silent look into each other’s eyes of, “I love you.”

 

 

“Dammit.” Sousuke whispered, bringing his forehead down to rest upon Rin’s, “It wasn’t supposed to go like this.”

 

 

Now trapped in their own secret world, Rin asked him in a breathless voice, “What do you mean?”

 

 

Sousuke closed his eyes and had a smile on his face that could last for miles. He was breathing loudly, each breath shaky and nervous. Foreheads touching, Sousuke penetrated Rin with one last loving look, and spoke in the most clear, steady voice Rin's ever heard.

 

 

“Matsuoka Rin, marry me. ”

 

 

The words were spoken softly, as if not to break them. The way Sousuke said them sounded like a prayer. To anyone else, the words sounded quiet, but to Rin, they were louder than anything he’s ever heard before.

 

The words travel slowly up Rin's throat and out of his mouth when he manages to reply with a shaky,“What did you say?”

 

He even says it in English, but Sousuke still understands.

 

“Rin, marry me.” Sousuke says again, louder this time and more confident. 

 

What's strange is he doesn’t ask it like a question, he just says it, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. The way his mouth formed each syllable, its like he’s speaking a special language that only he and Rin understand. It’s spoken in the same way he says, “Rin” or the way he says “I love you.” The way Sousuke was speaking right now was as if his vocal chords were filled with nothing but love and devotion for the man before him.

 

Rin opens his mouth, and closes it repeatedly, stammering to find a proper response. He feels his heart racing quickly, faster than when he swam, faster than his heart ever had to work. The poor thing, it’s been through a lot today. It had to pump so much blood right now, to keep him from passing out. All his poor body was focused on was to keep that heart alive and beating so Rin could answer the damn question.

 

It was so easy, all Rin had to do was reply. He had practiced this. Rin knew _exactly_ how to answer the question. But instead, all that practice was thrown out the window. All that practicing he did in front of the mirror did him shit. Instead of replying like he was supposed to all he could do was blurt out, “A-Aren’t you supposed to get down on a knee or something?”

 

His voice cracked at the end, but he didn’t care. All he noticed was the hammering of his heart as it thumped like a drum.

 

The corner's of Sousuke's eyes crease as he easily dropped to his knee at Rin’s request. His thumb soothingly stroked Rin’s hands in his own as he patiently waited. He still held that goofy smile and endearing look on his face. Now, it seemed to intensify as he fondly looked to Rin. He released the grip on one of his hands to pull out an all too familiar velvet box from his pocket. And almost reluctantly, he let go of Rin’s other hand to carefully open the box, revealing a silver ring.

 

Rin's hands fell with a flop.

 

“I was practicing today, with Kisumi, for _this._ Today at Starbucks, that’s why I was there. You know Kisumi, he’s a smooth talker. I thought he could help me not screw this entire thing up. I really wanted to do this at the airport. Right when you landed and got off the plane I would be waiting for you, to propose. I had the entire thing planned for months. Everyone was supposed to be there, Makoto, Haru, Gou…”

 

He was still on his knee, now laughing lightly, “I wanted this to be so much more special for you. But here I am, proposing to you like this. So please, please do me the biggest honor and marry me.”

 

Perhaps it’s the nerves, maybe it’s the words, “marry me” floating around in his head, but Rin suddenly finds himself acutely aware of his surroundings. He realizes that he could feel the stares of Makoto and Haru standing in their doorway, watching them this entire time.

 

With an almost desperation, Rin lunges to grab onto Sousuke’s arms and tries to tug him up. “Get up. Get up!” he hisses, his face redder than ever before.

 

Sousuke doesn’t budge from his spot from the ground and just stays there, gazing up at his beloved flustered boyfriend.

 

“Is that a yes?”

 

“Shit.” Rin mutters, releasing his weak grip on Sousuke. He takes a second to try and compose himself, saying “Fucking hell” over and over while biting on a closed fist and pacing in a small circle. 

 

_If this isn’t the most romantic moment of his life he doesn’t know what is. Sure,_ _he’ s royally fucking it up, but if wouldn’t be Rin if he didn’t._

 

Rin's eyes are closed, and he’s biting on his fist so hard he might draw blood, but he can’t hide the blossoming smile on his face. He ultimately manages to nod repeatedly, “Yes. Yes. It’s a _yes_. Of course I’d say yes now please just stand up so you can put that ring on my finger and kiss me.”

 

Sousuke doesn’t need to be told twice. In a flash he’s standing up and sliding the ring onto Rin’s finger while dipping the redhead into a fierce kiss.

 

 

 

******

 

 

When they break apart, the two just stare at each other, Rin’s on the verge of tears and Sousuke just holds him, steady and sure as always. Rin wants to bury himself into the junction of Sousuke’s neck and ask what he did to deserve him. He's stopped when he hears crying from behind. Sousuke notices too and cradles an arm around Rin as they turn to find the source of the tears.

 

Of course, it’s Makoto.

 

He’s holding onto Haru and bawling like a baby, wiping his tears with a dishtowel wailing, “He said yes! Oh that was so cute! I’m so happy for you guys!”

 

Haru has a deadpan look on his face, as he pats Makoto’s head. But he slips a coy smile to Rin.

 

Before the newly engaged couple can say anything Makoto is already standing in front of Rin and Sousuke, hands on each of their shoulders exclaiming, “I was so worried!” Out of nowhere he sets his face into a pout and directs it towards Sousuke yelling, “You! I thought you actually cheated on Rin! If Rin didn’t punch you I, no… _he_ was going to!” he looked back at Haru for confirmation, who just nodded in agreement from his spot at the door.

 

“Oh, thank goodness that worked out.” Makoto huffed, “If you two broke up I think I would never recover…”

 

*******

 

They offer to let the newly engaged couple stay, but Sousuke insists they’ve already done too much and Rin promises that they would all have dinner tomorrow night.

 

It’s a long way back to their apartment, but Sousuke easily throws Rin’s bag over his shoulder, and keeps his arm around his fiancé.

 

They’re both beaming as they walk home.

 

“You know, you’re adorable when you get jealous. ”

 

Rin comes to a jerky stop and gapes to Sousuke in shock. He’s met with an incredibly playful smirk and his eyes are crinkling at the sides from mirth.

 

“What did you say?”

 

After setting the luggage down, he reaches for Rin with both arms, swinging Rin like they’re dancing. “You were soo jealous.”

 

That asshole was trying to stifle the laughter in his voice as he continues making fun of Rin. “You should get angry like that more often, it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. You get all pouty and you do that thing with your face- there it is! Scowl-ly Matsuoka.”

 

Trademark frown set in place, Rin gritted his teeth in annoyance, but could do nothing to hide the blush on his face.

 

“Your point?”

 

Sousuke’s sassy air easily dispersed, and he leaned down to whisper into Rin’s ear, voice serious.

 

“You never have to be jealous when it comes to me. I love you and only you.”

 

Turning his face to Sousuke, Rin quickly planted a quick kiss to his fiancé’s cheek, and looked away to hide his growing blush, mumbling, “ I love you too.”

 

Sousuke wraps himself behind Rin and intertwines their fingers as they gaze up to the stars together, “I missed you while you were gone. I’m going to hate letting you go again. This time you’re my fiancé, it sucks.”

 

Rin could feel Sousuke tense up at the mentioning of Rin being away in Australia again. But Rin felt a rush of pride because he could finally drop his own surprise on Sousuke.

 

Untangling himself from the warmth of Sousuke’s arms, Rin scurried over to his backpack to grab an envelope. 

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“I have a surprise for you too." 

 

He shoved the envelope into Sousuke’s chest excitedly and bounced on his toes as Sousuke opened the contents inside. Rin carefully watched him, as Sousuke read the letter with great concentration. The letter was in English, but he knew Sousuke would get its meaning.

 

After a few long moments of reading, Sousuke’s eyes widened as he clamped his hand over his open mouth in surprise.

 

Rin smiled and asked in a sing-song voice, “Weeelll?”

 

Bringing the letter down slowly, Sousuke can’t stop gasping and shakes his head. “This can’t be real.”

 

Sousuke looked to Rin, to confirm if what he had just read was actually true. Rin was bouncing with excitement and threw himself at Sousuke. 

 

“No more long distance, no more Skype, no more months apart training in Australia. I’m on the team Sousuke, _I’m on Japan’s national team._ I get to stay here. I get to stay here with you!"

 

Sousuke was too stunned to answer and stood stiff while Rin shook him excitedly. It was Rin’s turn to hold Sousuke’s head and look right into the man’s eyes, “Sousuke, _it's real_. I was officially signed 3 weeks ago.  I wanted to surprise you!”

 

Still in shock, Sousuke rapidly blinked for a long time and finally declared, “If this is a dream I don’t wanna wake up.”

 

The wide cyan eyes and gaping mouth finally shifted into one of pure happiness, as Sousuke seemed to snap back into reality and grabbed a jumping Rin by the shoulders confirming, “You’re staying here.” He repeated. “You get to stay here, _with me_. No more Australia.”

 

“Yes! No more Australia, never again!”

 

Sousuke took a few steps back and placed his hands on his knees for support. The smile on his face was even bigger than before. He ran a wavering hand through his hair and stared at the ground in disbelief.

 

Rin's usually composed boyfriend unexpectedly pumped his fist into the air and lets out a loud “Whoo!” Then, he’s running around like a kid on a sugar high, jumping up and down and dancing like a football player who scored the winning touchdown.

 

It’s like trying to wrangle a drunken man when Rin jogs over to him and tries to bring him back from Cloud 9. He’s fist pumping wildly, trying to move his hips while shuffling his feet in a really bad imitation of a dance move, whooping in delight the entire time. He stops to read the now crumpled paper every few seconds, cheers again, and continues. His dancing is really cringeworthy, but Rin loves it anyway.

 

“Oi, Sousuke!” he laughs, “Come on, let’s go home! It’s cold as balls and I wanna eat.”

 

He’s having none of it, Sousuke just happily grabs Rin’s bag again and presses a loud smacking kiss to Rin’s forehead before yelling, “This is the fucking best day ever!”

 

Rin can’t help but smile as he grabs his fiancé's hand and avoids the stares of nearby people as he forces Sousuke to continue walking home. Sousuke is far gone at this point, because he’s high off happiness and starts telling random strangers, “I love this man. I just proposed. He’s going to be mine forever.”

 

He just looks up at Sousuke in admiration. This was his everything standing next to him, and he silently thanks whatever god is up there that he was allowed to have him forever.  He thanked whoever brought this silly, loveable goofball into his life and let him be lucky enough to be loved by such an incredible man. Rin will never get over the feeling of calling Sousuke _his,_  but he promises to love him with everything he's got. Squeezing his hand, looking at their intertwined fingers, Rin thanks the universe that of all the things he managed to screw up, _this_ was the one thing he could never get wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who commented and left kudos! This is my first time writing a fic and I honestly can't believe that people even found this remotely interesting.


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